Brave author Naomi Hunter bravely shares A Secret Safe To Tell

Naomi Hunter bravely revealed how her book A Secret Safe To Tell resulted from her own personal journey. She doesn’t want anyone to have to experience what she did. Now her story is impacting the lives of young people around the globe and providing a safe platform for adult survivors of sexual abuse to openly resonate with their own difficult journey. She recalled how from a very early age all she knew was sexual abuse.

“What I didn’t know for many years, however, was that it was not normal. When I ponder my childhood memories, I am overcome with crippling flashbacks that for so many years had left me feeling worthless, afraid, distant from myself, filled with self hatred and discontented confusion about why I was even born. Alone I discovered that compliance was the easiest form of survival. Alone I witnessed my innocence being repeatedly extracted from my soul. Alone I cried bleeding tears for someone to help, for someone to see, for someone to make it stop, for someone to save me. Alone I considered why…why me? Alone I felt the pain, the depth of darkness traveling inside of me. Alone I crumpled into tiny pieces, trying to be less-and-less until I understood that no matter how small I wished to become, his hands and his breath would always find my skin. Alone I contemplated my death. And then alone I forced myself to continue. Alone I found my inner strength. Alone I decided to fight for myself. Alone I sung my song to keep my spirit from breaking…Alone I watched on as my body took the hit while my mind cautiously protected itself. And alone I survived until I strived to be the best version of myself I could be, despite the evil that surrounded me.”

Mrs Hunter said the birth of her daughter seven years ago prompted her to write a book to help children. And she encouraged those present to imagine being a five year old living a secret life that they were told no one else could know about.

“I locked that secret away so deep and so tightly into the depths of my soul, untouchable, unmistakably there and so undeniably shameful. It wasn’t until the birth of my own beautiful baby girl..15 years later that the tsunami of childhood trauma would revisit me and I would be forced to unlock the pain, the unforgiving memories and the crippling fear that strangled my identity.”

Mrs Hunter said she had no choice but to come face-to-face with the horrifically disturbing flashbacks that left her indescribably alienated from society.

“Wave-after-wave hit, and, as I almost drowned in the suffocation of it all, there bravely stood my husband - my best friend, holding me, breathing life into me when I could not take another shameful blow,” she said.

“It was in these moments that I became acutely aware of this little girl inside of me that was screaming out for help. So, I did what I always did in those soul-destroying moments..I sung to her.”

Over time and with professional support Mrs Hunter learned that what had happened to her was childhood sexual abuse.

“And for the first time in my life, I let myself acknowledge that it actually had happened,” she said.

“I discovered too, that by finally accepting the actuality of my childhood, I was able to slowly begin to heal from it.”

As part of her healing journey Mrs Hunter decided to write a children’s picture storybook that could represent her story, and that of so many others affected in a similar way from such a tabooed, shameful and hushed reality that they struggle with in isolation, often for decades.

“I dreamed that if I could help just one child from feeling the sting of seclusion that sexual abuse survivors’ experience, then my own childhood would not be lost in vain, rather, it would triumph and thrive in the lives that it helped,” she said.

“It turns out that not only has my story helped one child, it has made an incredible impact on many thousands of people, spanning the age groups, bringing nurturing support to both boys and girls, men and woman, in all sectors of our community and sailing the seas to international waters. Not only is my story resonating with thousands of other adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, it is providing a platform of dialogue for children currently experiencing this horror to more easily disclose and seek the vital validation needed to transform their childhood into one without sexual violation and harmful self destruction.”

Mrs Hunter said she knew of seven young children who had disclosed their current sexual abusive situations after reading here story.

And she hopes that is just the beginning.

“Many parents have messaged me to express their heartfelt gratitude for this resource that is opening up the lines of communication on body safety, praising the delicate way the story portrays this issue,” she said.

“I could not be more humbled than when I hear from someone to say how thankful they are that I spoke out, to be bold enough and courageous enough to stand up against this issue. It’s in these moments that I am able to shatter another portion of shame, I can peel another layer of darkness away from the little girl that spent so many years hiding and I can look at myself in the mirror without being faced with disgust… I breathe and take a closer look and I can truly say..you are doing it..you have got this… it really is okay….you are not alone in this...your  story is the reality of so many. So, for all those with memories like mine, may you find peace.”

Mrs Hunter shared many personal thoughts and experiences she had during that time and explained how she coped. Then ended by saying this was just one persons’ story. Devastatingly one in three girls and one in six boys will experience some form of sexual abuse before they reach their 18^th birthday.

“This is just not acceptable,” she said.

“I am just one person and I am overwhelmingly amazed at how many lives I have already impacted because of my vision to help just one. Imagine a world where, if we all dreamed a similar dream, shared the one passion, what a harmonic discourse we could create, catapulting the safety and innocence of our children at the forefront of society ensuring that they grow up to become confident, happy, vibrant young adults and leaders of our future.”

Mrs Hunter said as a young child she felt alone.

But now as an empowered adult she felt much could be done if we all work together.

“Together we can ensure that no more kids have to feel compliant to abusive adults,” she said.

“Together we can ensure that our kids keep their innocence and feel empowered. Together we can ensure that no child has to suffer in isolation, cry silent and fearful tears on their own because, together, we will save them. Together we can provide empowering education to halt the self-destroying questions of “why me?” Together we can stop the pain, that depth of darkness from traveling into their lives. Together we can build our children up to become more and more than they ever imagined to become, instilling possibility and hope into their futures and embracing their own skin with liberation and comfort. Together we can inject an abundance of life into their worlds. Together we can project strength to release the taboo of sexual abuse. Together we can fight this evil until we ensure it dissolves into a non-existence. Together we can sing our song of uplifted and unified harmony to protect our children from any further suffering. Together we can soar and watch from above as our freeing impact changes lives for the future generations. Together we can stand as a formidable force - blocking, shielding and protecting our children. Together we can strive to ensure our children thrive throughout their childhoods. And together we can allow them to reach to their absolute fullest potential.”

Mrs Hunter said she longed for someone to intervene, to grab her hand and pull her out of the grips of her perpetrator. Someone to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault and to hold her and help her with her pain.

“Now we all have the opportunity to support Cristina in her vision of building such a safe haven for children and adults who feel exactly the same way,” she said.

“Together we can change their futures.”

Mrs Hunter thanked her husband Jeremy for his unwavering strength, love and passion to help carry her through so she can now share her story in order to help others.

“Together we must be determined,” she said.

“We must be strong. We must be courageous enough to have meaningful conversations with our kids. All children in the world have the right to feel nurtured, have the right to be educated and all kids have the right to be empowered in knowing that no one, no adult, no sibling, no friend, no teacher, no coach, no family member is able to touch them inappropriately, make them feel uncomfortable, make them feel unsafe and to make them feel as I did, so many years ago.”

She said no one should have to feel “powerless”.

In an interview with the Illawarra Mercury on Saturday night Mrs Hunter said it was important for people like her to be willing to speak about what had happened to them and how isolating it was.

She said awareness about what was happening to so many young children was the best way to try and stop it.

“There is so much that needs to be done,’” she said.

“I’m here to bring a message of hope. My book is helping spread the word and breaking the taboo and silence. It is having the dialogue and having the education..to know how to speak up.”

Mrs Hunter said it society does not talk about the problem people would continue to live with it for many years.

She said it was also important for victims to know and understand it is not their fault in any way. So there is nothing for them to feel guilty about.

Mrs Hunters said A Secret Safe to Tell was her first book on the subject.

She wrote it after the birth of her daughter because she wanted to help others.

“I thought if I could help one child not suffer in isolation..then my own childhood would not be lost in vein,” she said.

“It is a children’s picture story book. It has turned out to help not just seven children disclose their current sexual abuse. It has actually helped lots of parents open up the dialogue around body safety. It just takes the reader on the journey of abuse itself. Parents can delve into as much as they want to talk about..until a child is ready.”

Mrs Hunter said it was hard to get up and talk about what happened to her as a child but she will keep doing it because something needs to happen.

“We have got to be brave and have courageous conversations,” she said.

A Secret Safe To Tell can be purchased at www.empoweringresources.com.au/purchase-1/ .